


Wear a Mask, You're on Camera

by ThiefOfADHD



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Youtubers, Coming Out, Crying, First Meetings, Gay Keith (Voltron), Lance (Voltron) Has Anxiety, Lance (Voltron) is a Mess, M/M, Past Allura/Keith (Voltron), Slow Burn, Unrequited Crush
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-29
Updated: 2019-05-03
Packaged: 2019-12-26 10:17:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18281060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThiefOfADHD/pseuds/ThiefOfADHD
Summary: "The thing about making YouTube videos for a living, is that there's so many varieties of what you can do."Sometimes, things need to be said in a big way.





	1. Confessions

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! I'm back on bullshit!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“The thing about making YouTube videos for a living, is that there's so many varieties of what you can do.” He looked away from the camera, thumb rubbing circles over its own closed fingers. “You can find your niche and… you end up discovering things that you never previously thought about before.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wee woo wee woo henlo

_"The thing about making YouTube videos for a living, is that there's so many varieties of what you can do."_

Keith kept replaying that clip over and over again, frowning as he noticed that he didn't look at the camera, his hands kept moving, he was stimming by rubbing his thumb over the rest of his fingers mid-video, (he took quick notice that he was doing that right now as well,) and nothing about it felt right.

But… it was part of his video. He had to keep it, it was important.

He sighed, trying to find things to cut out _~~like the extra long pause where Kosmo jumped up onto him and he spent five minutes hugging him~~_ for a video that wasn't too long.

It ended up being a ten minute video, but… it's important.

It's the most important video he's had to make.

* * *

_Keith Kogane @keefsbane Tweeted_

Lance looked at his phone, checking it as he sighed. Another video. Another rival video reaction.

_This is my most important video to date. I do not want questions as to why comments are turned off on the video, I'll be doing a live stream in a week after I take an Internet-free break. Thank you for understanding._

Lance got up, rubbing his face as he looked around his room. ~~_Great, a mess._~~

He went to his computer, quietly getting Keith’s newest video up to react to.

_Focus._

He got his camera and recording software set up, doing his quick tests before getting down to it.

“What's up everybody, it's Lance and welcome back to my channel! So, I just found out that Keith uploaded a new video, he said it was important, so I'm gonna react to it. Now, I have not seen this video yet, nor have I seen anybody say anything about it.” He explained. “Let's get right into it, shall we?”

He clicked play when he made sure his screen and audio was recording, watching in hopes of getting a good video out of this.

_“Hey.” Keith spoke, letting out a breath. “So um, I've been running this channel for a good… what is it, three or four years now? But um, wow yeah. I know I'm considered small, only at about 5 million subscribers but uh, I figured I'd make this video because it's um. It's time.”_

_He went quiet, looking down before covering his mouth with both of his fists._

_“I um… I understand that a lot of people might see this and think that it's not worth the watch unless I title it kinda clickbaity, but um…” He shrugged. “I dunno where I'm going with that uh…”_

_Silence came once more, jump cutting to him sitting with Kosmo, his dog, in his lap._

_“I get it, the algorithm is gonna cut this down into the least watched video, but… I need to get this out.” He mumbled. “I um…” He paused._

_“The thing about making YouTube videos for a living, is that there's so many varieties of what you can do.” He looked away from the camera, thumb rubbing circles over its own closed fingers. “You can find your niche and… you end up discovering things that you never previously thought about before.”_

Lance paused the video, looking at all of his recording equipment before turning it all off. it was wrong… he can't do it.

Not to this video. Not now, maybe not ever.

_“And, this can be from watching creators such as myself, taking in content, or if you're a content creator and you learn as you grow.” He swallowed hard. “But I um…” He paused._

He moved, shifting in his seat, and that's when Lance started to notice the tears filling his eyes.

_“This shouldn't be hard for me, and yet I'm… I'm fucking terrified. I- I'm scared of the backlash I'm gonna get from this.” He wiped his tears with the palms of his hands, sniffling._

_“Growing up, I knew I was… different. I had a bad childhood, and I didn't want to be seen as weird when I got older. And, old time fans will know that I started YouTube because of Allura.” He swallowed, tears coming back again._

_“I… never really talked about us being together, or us breaking up. Allura and I never talked about it much besides the fact that we were together for five months when her channel started, and we broke up a year after that. And… there's a lot of reasons as to why we broke up.”_

Lance felt his heart sink lower and lower as he kept watching.

_“The thing is, I keep seeing people ask if I'll get another girlfriend, or if I'm dating one of Allura’s friends, such as Romelle. And the thing is, is that I can't. And…”_

Lance swallowed hard.

_“The reason why I can't date any of her friends, the reason why we broke up is because I'm gay.” Tears fell quickly, his voice breaking as he spoke. “And- I've been hiding it for a long time. I- I didn't want to admit it to- to myself. To others. I'm not ashamed of it, but just… I'm scared of what others would say. I'm scared of the reaction.”_

_His breath hitched as he wiped his face. “I just… I feel like me saying this will break every perception of me that you have. But I couldn't keep this in. I- I'm gay. I like men.”_

_It cut to a later shot, Keith wiping his face once more. “Sorry, I had to stop recording for a bit… but…” He sighed. “I needed to calm myself down, stop from completely breaking down.” He chuckled, looking away. “I um… I'm gonna be gone for a week. Seven, maybe ten days. And not just from YouTube. I mean everywhere. I don't want to see people talk about me, I don't want to know what anyone is saying about me…”_

_He rubbed his face. “But… I'll be doing a live QnA on Twitch, Twitch dot tv slash keefsbane, when I return. It'll be questions from Instagram, Twitter, the Twitch chat, whatever I can find. But… I don't want any hate, I don't want to get in depth with my relationship with Allura, and I don't want anyone getting mad at Allura.” He sighed. “Please, don't attack Allura. I'll see you when I get back.” He got up, walking out as the last minute of video focused on the empty room._

Lance moved back, looking at the ended video before eventually turning his computer off.

He was quiet, unsure of what to say or how to react.

* * *

_‘Did you see the new video @keefsbane posted?’_

_‘Lance! @keefsbane made a new video! When's your reaction coming out?!’_

_‘has anybody noticed that @lovelyshots hasn't tweeted or posted anything since right before @keefsbane released his video?’_

Lance sighed as he looked at all of the Instagram and Twitter notifications. He was quiet, finally uploading his video and sharing it on Twitter quietly.

~~~

_Lance McClain @lovelyshots Tweeted_

Fuck, what is it now?

_New video: Why I'm Not Making a React Video To Keith's Confession Video_

…. what?

Keith clicked on the video. It had only been about two or three days since he uploaded his video, but he couldn't ignore his constantly buzzing phone for long. Call it an addiction.

Lance’s video started up, and that's when he noticed…

It was only four minutes.

_“So I have been getting a lot of people asking me about my reaction video to Keith’s confession video. If you haven't seen the video yet, I'm going to talk about it, but please go watch it if you haven't yet.” He took a breath._

Keith did the same.

_“I know I've been calling it a confession video, I know it's more of a coming out video but I don't feel it would be appropriate to… call it that publicly? I don't know.” He shrugged. “What I do know, though, is that I'm not going to do a reaction video to it. I've already seen it, there isn't a point.” He sighed._

_“The thing is, my reaction videos are made for entertainment. It's what I do to make fun of Keith’s videos for a rivalry that he and I have had for a year and a half. But, I'm not going to bash on him for this. Not this video. He makes it very obvious that it's hard for him to outright tell everyone this stuff, and it isn't my place to state opinions.” He looked down, the shot cutting._

_“As some of you know, I don't bring up things about the LGBT community on my channel. The thing is, I don't feel comfortable talking about its movement knowing that I'm not educated well enough and that there's people who are going to get mad at me for not being educated.” He explained. “Keith came out as gay, and that was a really big thing for him to do. That took a lot, but he's still Keith. Gay or not, Keith is still Keith, and that's all I'm going to say about it.”_  

The video ended quickly, causing Keith to take action.

* * *

Lance got into bed, curling up as he heard his phone go off. He moved, picking up his phone before opening it to the notification quietly.

Keith Kogane @keefsbane Messaged You

Lance’s stomach dropped.

_'Hey, I saw your video. Do you think we could meet up sometime?'_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idk what I'm gonna make of this story, I feel like this is just kind of a coming out YouTube au? Also, angst bc that's really all I can do at this point.


	2. Meetings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _keefsbane: Please don't think I'm hitting on you._   
>  _lovelyshots: oh no no no no no not that!!!_   
>  _lovelyshots: i just have a lot going on rn_   
>  _lovelyshots: y'know, with the channel_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY! A SECOND CHAPTER!

_keefsbane: Hey, I saw your video. Do you think we could meet up sometime?_

 

How the fuck does someone _respond_ to that?!

 

_lovelyshots: i think you have the wrong number_

_keefsbane: This is Twitter._

_lovelyshots: you got me there_

_lovelyshots: idk you and i have never talked before_

_keefsbane: Yeah. I know._

_keefsbane: But we can start. :)_

_lovelyshots: oh my fucking god why do i exist_

 

~~**_Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck._ ** ~~

 

_keefsbane: Please don't think I'm hitting on you._

_lovelyshots: oh no no no no no not that!!!_

_lovelyshots: i just have a lot going on rn_

_lovelyshots: y'know, with the channel_

 

~~**_Good save, dumbass._ ** ~~

 

_keefsbane: Oh._

_lovelyshots: BUT I STILL WANNA_

_lovelyshots: LIKE_

_keefsbane: ?_

_lovelyshots: when should we hang out?_

_keefsbane: Uh, depends? When are you free?_

_lovelyshots: saturday_

_keefsbane: Cool. Where do you live? Or do you want to come here? Do we even live in the same area?_

_lovelyshots: i rather it be at my house_

 

~~**_Are you fucking joking? Your place is a fucking mess-_ ** ~~

 

_keefsbane: Okay, I can do that. Where you live?_

_lovelyshots: im worried_

_keefsbane: Why?_

_lovelyshots: you could be a serial killer_

_keefsbane: Oh._

_keefsbane: My._

_keefsbane: Fucking._

_keefsbane: God._

_lovelyshots: IT IS A VALID FEAR!_

_keefsbane: I'M NOT A SERIAL KILLER!_

_lovelyshots: im sorry! okay!_

_keefsbane: Should I be bothering you???_

_lovelyshots: here, this is close to where i live, we can meet here_

**_lovelyshots attached a photo_ **

 

~~**_This better be a good idea_ ** ~~

 

_keefsbane: Lance._

_lovelyshots: yea_

_keefsbane: I live in San Francisco._

_lovelyshots: …_

_keefsbane: That's a six hour fucking drive._

_lovelyshots: … we can cancel-_

_keefsbane: How about tomorrow? Are you free tomorrow?_

_lovelyshots: i_

_lovelyshots: yeah_

_keefsbane: Okay, I'll drive down in the morning. I gotta go. Bye._

_lovelyshots: bye, text me when you get into city limits_

_keefsbane: Will do._

_lovelyshots: OH! My phone number is 310 606-5623_

_keefsbane: Cool, thanks._

 

His text messages went off suddenly, causing him to look at the unknown number.

 

_6:38 pm_

_(415) 450-5384: Hey, it's Keith._

 

He saved his number quickly.

 

_6:39 pm_

_Lance: hey, it's lance, i got it :)_

_Keefers: :)_

* * *

Lance wouldn't say how long it took him to clean up his home and go shopping. For all he knew, it was too long.

Something else was how awful he felt when he finally woke up. He grabbed his phone-

 

_11:15 am_

_Keefers: Hey, about to arrive to town._

_11:35 am_

_Keefers: I think I'm at the place where you wanted to meet up._

_11:40 am_

_Keefers: You're not here._

_12:32 pm_

_Keefers: This was a waste of time, wasn't it?_

_12:35 pm_

_Keefers: I'm just gonna go home._

_12:41 pm_

_Lance: NO NO NO NO NO SHIT FUCK_

_Lance: FUCK NO I JUST WOKE UP_

_Lance: KEITH WAIT_

_Lance: FUCK ANSWER PLEASE DON'T GO_

He didn't know why he had started to cry as he hurriedly got up to get dressed, checking his phone.

~~_**Please don't go…** _ ~~

_12:42 pm_

_Incoming call from Keefers_

Lance answered it pretty quickly.

_“La-”_

“I'm on my way, I just- I'm so sorry I forgot and I- I slept in and God fuck I'm so sorry-”

 _“Lance! Calm down!”_ A laugh came from him and fuck, it was so damn pretty. _“It's okay. I had just gotten to my car. I can just come over to your place if you want. I'll even give you the rest of my coffee.”_

“Oh my God… you're a saint, thank you.” Lance mumbled. “I live 4777 Veradero Street.”

“Alright, I'll be there soon.” Keith sighed. “You cool if I crash there?”

“Oh, no yeah you can.” Lance admitted. “I'll uh, I'll let you go. See you.”

When the call ended, his anxiety shot up. _**FUCK.**_

He had to shower, brush his teeth, eat-

… he can't do all that in such a short time. 

He ended up brushing his teeth in the shower and barely half dry when he finally got dressed and fixed his hair. _**Fuck fuck fuck, hurry up!**_

He was about to go into the kitchen, panicked, when he heard a truck pull up.

_Shit._

“You have a nice place.” Keith mumbled. “Sorry about Kos, I didn't feel like coming home to a torn up couch. I'm his anxiety human.”

“Oh, no it's okay. Kosmo’s free to be here.” Lance told him. “So uh-”

He paused when he was handed a coffee.

“It's mocha…” Keith mumbled. “I promised you my coffee. Kinda cold, but…”

“Oh, no thank you.” He took it. “Um, oh here, lemme take you to the guest room.”

~~_**Useless room but-** _ ~~

“Oh, thanks. I only brought what I had in my truck, but thanks.” Keith and Kosmo followed him, causing his back to get chills.

So close…

“Here.” Lance mumbled. “Not much, but it's a full sized bed.”

“Thanks-”

There was a loud creak from the bed as Kosmo jumped on immediately, panting happily.

“Jesus, Kosmo…” Keith laughed, smiling.

Lance looked at him, feeling _odd_.

Maybe it was hot in here? His palms were sweaty, and he must've been anxious still cause his heart's racing. Why does he feel light headed and like his stomach is in knots-

_He still hasn't eaten yet._

“Oh! Hey, do you want a snack?” Lance asked, quietly drinking the cold coffee ~~that he'd forgotten~~ in his hand.

“Huh? Oh, sure.” Keith smiled. “What you got?”

It took a fifteen minute pantry and food raid for them to find…

Chips, guacamole, veggies, and hummus.

“Eh, better than cooking anything.” Keith mumbled, gathering everything to snack on.

That was the thing about Keith Kogane… he was very average for a very intimidating guy.

“Hey, Keith?”

He caused the other to look up, blinking.

“Can I ask, why did you come out?” He asked. Keith opened the food up quietly, not saying a word.

~~_**Nice fuck up-** _ ~~

“I couldn't deal with the lying anymore.” He admitted, shrugging. “Just, y'know, one of those things where you have to like, y'know, come out? I dunno. I'd been planning on making the video for a few months now. Just kinda, y'know, scared to see everyone’s reaction.”

“Yeah… I can't imagine how that must feel.” He admitted, sitting down with him as he ate a chip quietly.

“Yeah…” Keith mumbled. Lance put a hand on his shoulder, looking at him. 

“But hey, so far I've seen all positive reviews on twitter, so-”

“Hey, Lance?”

“Yeah?” 

“Do you wanna do a live q&a with me when I come back online?”

It almost felt the same as when he'd asked to meet up.

_Just much, much worse._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: this is so I don't have burnout  
> Me: get writers block
> 
> Also posting this at almost 2 am bc, although I'm tired, I'm waiting for my Fitbit to charge so I can charge my headphones while I sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> 03 May 2019: Yummy, writers block and lack of motivation! (I'm not dead I promise I'm working on stuff dw)
> 
> As always, thank you for reading!  
> \- Cotey/Thief


End file.
